{"id":5864,"date":"2022-02-19T09:30:00","date_gmt":"2022-02-19T08:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sceaux-lagazette.fr\/?p=5864"},"modified":"2022-02-19T12:55:57","modified_gmt":"2022-02-19T11:55:57","slug":"bienvenue-chez-les-tebe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sceaux-lagazette.fr\/index.php\/2022\/02\/19\/bienvenue-chez-les-tebe\/","title":{"rendered":"Bienvenue chez les teb\u00e9s"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Quel r\u00e9confort que de lire la venue d\u2019un grand de ce monde dans le petit monde des niais (entendre par l\u00e0: les pas assez m\u00e9fiants). Encore que celui dont je vais parler ne s\u2019est pas fait vraiment avoir. Il a hum\u00e9 le truc juste avant. Mais il y \u00e9tait presque. Et profitons de nos futilit\u00e9s du samedi pour introduire un nouvel indispensable: le mot teb\u00e9.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jean-Claude Herrenschmidt et moi, lors de coming out non coordonn\u00e9s, avions d\u00e9j\u00e0 confess\u00e9 sur la place publique d\u2019avoir \u00e9t\u00e9 (mais de pr\u00e8s ou de loin seulement) roul\u00e9s dans la farine. Eh bien, apprendre que David Abiker, chroniqueur sur Radio Classique, auteur d\u2019un billet hebdomadaire dans le suppl\u00e9ment week-end du Parisien, a connu ou disons \u00e0 faillir conna\u00eetre pareilles m\u00e9saventures, on se sent diff\u00e9rent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Les joies de l’internet de l’Administration<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Dimanche dernier[1]<\/a>, fid\u00e8le \u00e0 sa mani\u00e8re de se gausser des travers de notre temps, il moquait, \u00e9gratignait plut\u00f4t la proc\u00e9dure de renouvellement du passeport. Il s\u2019\u00e9tait tromp\u00e9, avait confondu deux cases et ne le voil\u00e0-t-il pas embarqu\u00e9 dans un encha\u00eenement idiot. Il est devenu David Abiker-David, ce qui en soi n\u2019est pas grave si on peut revenir en arri\u00e8re. Justement, ce n\u2019est pas possible. Le site en ligne ne souffre aucun manque d\u2019attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bloqu\u00e9, il s\u2019agite. Personne \u00e0 appeler, pas d\u2019aide. Sauf \u00e0 prendre un rendez-vous, mais une paire de mois plus tard. A le lire, on sent qu\u2019il est port\u00e9 \u00e0 p\u00e9ter un c\u00e2ble \u00e0 cause des rigidit\u00e9s informatiques. Son image m\u00e9diatique le donne calme en toutes circonstances, les lecteurs du Parisien le voient hebdomadairement avec un bon vieux chien dans les bras, ses articles sont souvent spirituels, mais visiblement il a aussi ses nerfs. Allez savoir si ce n’est pas gr\u00e2ce au toutou qu’il retrouve la s\u00e9r\u00e9nit\u00e9. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

On ne sait pas comment il s\u2019est sorti du labyrinthe d\u00e9claratif, toujours est-il qu\u2019il a eu d\u2019autres d\u00e9boires. Il s’en est ouvert dans son billet de 01Net[2]<\/a>. C’est une revue bihebdomadaire qui traite de maints sujets touchant au num\u00e9rique allant des comparaisons entre mat\u00e9riels aux technologies d\u2019identit\u00e9 num\u00e9riques en passant par l\u2019\u00e9ventail des th\u00e8mes informatiques. Pour les amateurs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mais David Abiker y dispense aussi ses humeurs. Personnellement, je m\u2019y r\u00e9gale. Que lui est-il arriv\u00e9 ? Une histoire qui ressemble bien \u00e0 celle que Jean-Claude Herrenschmidt a racont\u00e9e dans la Gazette. On n\u2019est pas loin de l\u2019entourloupe \u00e0 l\u2019horodateur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Le bon vieux coup de la carte bleue<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

C\u2019est un coup de fil d\u2019un type qui lui demande de se mettre en r\u00e8gle avec l\u2019Administration pour continuer \u00e0 b\u00e9n\u00e9ficier de sa couverture maladie. Quoi de mieux intentionn\u00e9 ? Le ton y est. Le type est courtois, s\u00fbr de lui. Il ne s\u2019agit que d\u2019\u00e9tendre les prestations, rien \u00e0 redire. La confiance s\u2019installe. Pas de brusquerie. Mais peu \u00e0 peu on passe aux choses s\u00e9rieuses. Au d\u00e9tour d\u2019une phrase, il demande les coordonn\u00e9es bancaires.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Le cervelet, centre des r\u00e9actions r\u00e9flexes et si\u00e8ge de l\u2019instinct de survie, semble avoir envoy\u00e9 un signal fort \u00e0 David Abiker. Il se m\u00e9fie, ce en quoi il est plus malin que nous (ce qui est normal, il est tr\u00e8s sollicit\u00e9), il lance \u00e0 son interlocuteur : \u00ab vous v\u2018foutez d\u2019ma gueule ? \u00bb. C\u2019est dans le texte. On lui raccroche au nez. Ce qui est peu de chose. Il y a des situations o\u00f9 les formules de politesse deviennent superflues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

L\u2019int\u00e9ressant dans ce r\u00e9cit est le regret : \u00ab Je me dis, quand m\u00eame tu aurais pu le garder une heure au t\u00e9l\u00e9phone, lui donner de fausses coordonn\u00e9es bancaires, lui poser des questions, bref, faire durer le plaisir pour bien lui dire m\u2026 \u00e0 la fin. H\u00e9las, j\u2019ai loup\u00e9 l\u2019occasion. \u00bb Qui n\u2019a pas ressenti pareil regret. Qui ne s\u2019est jamais senti appartenir \u00e0 la cat\u00e9gorie des teb\u00e9, selon l\u2019expression apprise dans l\u2019article, un verlan d\u2019ado qui semble en vogue et que l\u2019auteur a lui-m\u00eame appris de sa fille de 14 ans. Le mot aide \u00e0 se situer dans l\u2019\u00e9chelle des \u00e2ges comme dans celle de la na\u00efvet\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00ab Le pire, dit David Abiker, c\u2019est qu\u2019on n\u2019apprend pas de ses erreurs \u00bb. Difficile parfois de discerner chez lui ce qui rel\u00e8ve de l\u2019humour ou de l\u2019opinion. Dans le deuxi\u00e8me cas, esp\u00e9rons qu\u2019il se trompe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

[1]<\/a> Le Parisien week-end du vendredi 4 f\u00e9vrier 2022, p.10
[2]<\/a> L\u2019article cit\u00e9 est de 01Net n\u00b0967, du 02 au 15 f\u00e9vrier 2022, p.74<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Quel r\u00e9confort que de lire la venue d\u2019un grand de ce monde dans le petit monde des niais (entendre par l\u00e0: les pas assez m\u00e9fiants). Encore que celui dont je vais parler ne s\u2019est pas fait vraiment avoir. Il a hum\u00e9 le truc juste avant. Mais il y \u00e9tait presque.…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":5866,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5864","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-futiles","entry","simple"],"yoast_head":"\nBienvenue chez les teb\u00e9s - La Gazette<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sceaux-lagazette.fr\/index.php\/2022\/02\/19\/bienvenue-chez-les-tebe\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bienvenue chez les teb\u00e9s - La Gazette\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Quel r\u00e9confort que de lire la venue d\u2019un grand de ce monde dans le petit monde des niais (entendre par l\u00e0: les pas assez m\u00e9fiants). 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